How to stop feeding the bad desires of our habits
“Our problem is not drifting into bad habits but the routines created around them.”
On more than one occasion, when I thought I had a well-laid-out plan. All coldly calculated. Like watching a 3D movie, I realized I would ruin all my proposed plans. I fell back into the same bad habits, the same cycle destroying me.
The lack of self-control kept me stuck.
Two steps up, three steps down. What a great disappointment. I wanted to prosper in some goal I set for myself, only to fall, like a scoundrel, down to my knees, blaming myself for spoiling all my plans.
And the truth is that it was a severe and terrible problem.
There were many addictions that I needed to get rid of in my life. The worst was alcoholism, followed by cigarettes, like an inseparable marriage. One pulled me towards the other—two against one, a tremendous mess.
It was me against myself—a war inside me.
And to win the battle, I had to put a rifle on my shoulder. I began to pay close attention to every slip I had so that I could learn a lesson from it. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes over and over again.
The result of my Observation
Examining the place, the thoughts, and the emotions I had at the moment of hesitation made me think about how much they can affect my decisions. A chain of anxieties was unleashed inside me. I closed all the doors of my mind and ignored the consequences of what could happen and how I would feel afterward.
I sabotage my thoughts. At times, I said to myself (Just one more time) or (No one will notice), (next time, I’ll hold on a little longer.) All those ingredients were cooking in the soup of my mind.
I admit they didn’t smell good at all.
It was like a pressure cooker. Sooner or later, there was going to be a big explosion. Then, I understood that only I was the one who could have control of my thoughts. I needed to stop and discard everything that wanted to make me falter and change direction.
It was a great challenge. I had to be aware of every thought.
The Battle of the Mind
It is in the mind that the first battle is fought. If you can cancel all seductive thoughts, you will likely stop the rest that seduces your mind. Self-sabotage is hidden inside you. Believe it or not, it works even when you’re asleep because it works behind the scenes.
You don’t see it… but you can feel it.
And with just a spark of thought, a chain of sabotage began within me, like a domino reaction. Many times, it seemed like I was inviting self-sabotage’s damaging, inhibiting, and defeating effects into my life without realizing it.
It always turned into self-destructive patterns.
Over time, it began to steal my motivation, I lost my self-esteem, and my heart was filled with sadness. I made the attempts with fear and trembling. I distrusted myself.
I knew that at any moment, I would fall off the wagon.
How did I get over it?
- I directed the focus to what I wanted most—achieving sobriety and regaining control of my life. Every battle I won was a celebration that made my self-esteem grow. I had to create my motivation.
- I told myself, “If I can achieve it for one day, for the next, I will carry the experiences of the previous day.” I had to believe in myself again.
- I understood that self-sabotage was an enemy inside me that made me fall back. Difficult to stop, but not impossible to control.
- It was in my thoughts that the battle began. I was in control of what I could accept inside my mind.
There was no room to consider taking a step back. It was life or death. I could choose to change the outcome if I am determined to stand by my decision at all costs.
Every step I took forward brought me closer to the goal.
I will give you an example.
One day, while walking, I met an old friend with whom I used to drink, and I automatically associated him with the desire and the reaction to the drink (REMINDER.)
We started to talk, but in my subconscious, I was waiting for the moment when the subject of drinking would be brought up. (ROUTINE.)
And as soon as that topic came to light, the debate started in my mind, whether or not I could drink again. Until I convinced myself and accepted a drink (REWARD.)
Every time I failed, it was similar. The destructive habit cycle had hooked my life.
So, I go back to the subject. As soon as you remove the thought, you will stop the reminder. You will avoid falling into the destructive routine and never see the reward.
That was the key to breaking my life’s cycle of bad habits.
It took me time to face myself and win the battle. These are decisions that must be made daily. At every hour, minute, and second of the confrontation between self-sabotage, bad habits, and myself.
I hope that my experiences help you with something. To know you better and to reinforce your weak sides and that you are in control.
Often, it is not the exterior that leads us to live badly; what comes from within us.
“The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.“
Socrates
Thank you for reading.
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