One Advises Me To Make “GOOD DECISIONS” While The Other Contradicts
Many of you already know, I was an alcoholic for twenty years — only God knows why I’m still alive — and in chronic condition for the last five that led me to homelessness. After my miraculous recovery — more on that later — I decided to discover the “why” of things.
Especially — for good reasons — I decided to discover why I continued to self-destruct, knowing the damage I was causing to myself? If I’m sincere and writing about my recovery process, I could help someone else to rehab.
Perhaps, this example can also be compared with other bad habits and can help me understand why we do what we do, knowing that everything has a consequence? Good or bad.
Cause And Effect
How was it possible that it took me so long to decide to ditch the drink of my life? It seems — from what I learned reading books about habits like “Atomic Habits” By Author James Clear — because of neuroscience — the way our brains are wired — we repeat what works. That tells me that when actions are constantly repeated, we form associations between the signals that trigger a response.
Now, giving a different perspective and an example
I observed in my new 9 to 5 job as a simple cashier. When I saw the magnitude of work I had to do, I felt intimidated. Three cash registers, Western Union, and a bill pay machine. The intimidation was not about the many machines; each one entailed a different process to make the transactions.
My biggest trick to mastering them was marking signals along each of the transaction processes. My mind recognized the steps and the signals and repeatedly made them automatic. Every time I encountered an obstacle, I converted it into one more signal to stick to my memory and the process. Accumulating all those repetitions day by day, I became a“Master cashier” — what a great title — better than the one I had before on the street — a homeless bum.
Observing how by just marking signals to learn processes and master a task gave me an idea of how my mind works and how habits work. Signals trigger a habit, “for our benefit or against us.”
I have to silence the evil voice coming from my left shoulder trying to discourage me, saying, I will never be good enough; I have a bad record in life. I make an effort to listen to the whisper saying; you got this! You didn’t come this far to stop now.
Then I learned in an article by “Jeff Haden.” We all have an orbitofrontal cortex — the brain region responsible for emotion and reward in decision-making. That’s probably the evil voice I heard on my left shoulder.
And that we have a prefrontal cortex — the brain region responsible for planning, decision making, and supporting goal-oriented behaviors. That has to be the angel in my right shoulder saying; don’t go back to where you came from! It’s harder there!
Now, going deeper to where I came from;
All those repeated drunkenness in my life took root in my conscious and subconscious, my mind and in my body. They broke that line of responsibility through years of alcohol exposure. Sadly It took control of my will and tore it apart. I became addicted.
Like I said before, “habits work for or against us.” We repeat actions that please us, even though they are harmful or find patterns of behavior that allow us to achieve goals. I chose the latter.
The road that led me to perdition was a stony descent road, while the road to recovery was one full of stumbles and falls. I didn’t focus my energy on staying away from the drink — no one could grab my shirt and prevent me from entering the liquor store.
Struggles and pain can become strengths and lessons.
Every time my mind filled up with anxiety, I stopped and reflected. Is it worth drinking again? Where am I going to end? I focus on nurturing my self-esteem and not losing control, and giving up along the way. And that gave reason to my decision to stay sober and nullify the excuse to drink again.
You can apply this whole process of reflection to any bad habit. “Identifying the feelings and benefits that resulted from the habit,” over time, you’ll begin to make a different decision.
The angel on my right shoulder will share all the benefits of doing the right thing, while the evil voice on my left side will keep trying to deviate me and make me feel bad.
Just don’t try to silence the little voices in your head, contradict each other, unite them, and make your emotions work for you, not against you.
I hope my insights and examples will help you break any bad habits.
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