The Story of a Lifetime
How many times have I woken up every morning? Meditating on the reasons why I feel so distressed about writing down my life experiences. Or, how many times have I met someone on my way, to whom from my heart would like to help him solve his alcoholism problem?
The more I realize that I can’t solve anybody’s problems, the affliction of my heart grows. Each one of us walks his own destiny based on the decisions he makes in life.
And, in the middle of the road, I realize that we are all responsible for the actions of our own lives. We cannot depend on others to solve the problems created by our bad decisions.
How many times would I want to start all over again, avoiding the terrible mistakes I made in the past? And, I stop for a second and think…I realize that God has already given me the second opportunity to give a clean slate.
The moment I decided to give up drinking, my life began again, with a clearer mind to make better decisions.
Everything can change in a day
One day, leaving the shelter. I stopped right behind the building and look at the train tracks that fade into the distance, with an endless perspective.
I started to think about which way I was going to take. The same as every day, Or venture into the distance without knowing my destination.
The safest was the same as every day. Back to the same place where all the homeless gather to drink and get high. But, this time I took the unsure path. The one I didn’t know where it was going to take me.
I walked a few meters and met an unknown person sitting on the train track. I ask for his condition, and he could hardly answer. It didn’t look good. Pale and with signs of wanting to vomit.
“I had a very bad night,” he replied, “and, I still haven’t found anything that can relieve me.”
“I would like a shot of liquor ,” he exclaimed, sighing.
“Well,” I said.
“If you wait for me here, and if I get something to drink, I’ll save you a little to fix your situation.” And I kept walking.
Far ahead, I found a woman crying. A little drunk or maybe drugged. Complaining that someone had sexually abused her and stolen her pills that take away her pain and depression.
And I also said to her:
“If you wait for me here, and I can get something to solve your situation. I’ll save a little to share it with you.”
Later, I found a drunk disabled man complaining about his poor condition and the misfortune that had led him to be left in a wheelchair.
He began to tell me about his life, and how so many times, people approached him with the good intentions of advising him to stop drinking. His reactions were always to reject them.
When a person is under the influence, they do not realize the damage they are doing to themselves. One day an accident happened while he was drunk, which left him paralyzed, from his neck to his feet. It damaged his spine, leaving him in the depressing condition he was in now.
His life turned into a catastrophe, and a constant chasing the next shot of liquor, that would make him forget his sad ending. At the end of the road, all he found was a tragedy, sadness, and deep disappointment in his heart.
What started one day with a drink of fun, turned into the worst nightmare of his life. Alcohol enslaved him to the limit of self-destruction.
Reflections…
I couldn’t find words to comfort that poor person who was now disabled.
I realized. Alcoholism is like a cobblestone road, where you don’t know which stone you will stumble over. Even worse, you could fall into a hole. Maybe your grave.
Under the influence of alcohol, anything can happen to you. Abuse your own body, offend your friends, and hurt your loved ones.
All because of the addiction to the illusion of false joy that alcohol causes in your mind. And, the chemicals your brain releases into your body that make you feel falsely good.
But, everything has an end, and one day the drunken party will end. Life will pass the bill. And, the one that will pay will be your health, freedom, or your life.
You will end up in a hospital. Imprisoned or dead ashes, because nobody went to claim your body.
The only thing that came out of my heart, was to give the disabled a couple of dollars I had with me to buy my drink.
I patted him on the shoulder, and left in silence. Crying inside, not knowing what to say, or how to help.
Walking back, to where I had seen the woman crying. I saw the lights of an ambulance flashing. The woman was carried on a stretcher, unconscious. Possibly intoxicated. Plug to machines, receiving oxygen supply.
“Overdose,” I heard the paramedic say.
And, furthermore, other flashing lights from the police and firefighters blocked the way. They wrapped a white blanket around a body, an indication that someone had died.
That was the person I had seen early sitting on the train track. He had a seizure. Caused by alcohol withdrawal. He didn’t survive.
My heart was pounding. I felt a chill and an anxiety to cry that I could not contain. Shivering, I sat on the same train track and covered my face so I could cry.
Anecdote…
A very deep feeling made me remember an anecdote that goes like this:
One morning, a person woke up at home and stretched out his arms. As he yawned. A strange noise came through the window.
He looks out and saw that the noise came from the garbage cans. A homeless man peered through the garbage looking for cans and recycling bottles to sell.
The person from his window said:
“Thank God I have a place to live, and food on my table. I’m not like that poor homeless wretch.”
Suddenly the sound of an ambulance siren was heard, rushing down the avenue. It was taking someone to the hospital.
And the homeless said:
“Thank God, I’m not like the person inside that ambulance. That poor man is in worse conditions than me.”
In the ambulance, they carried a patient still alive. And when they got to the hospital, They took him straight to the emergency room.
In the hallway, he noticed that another patient was taken, in the opposite direction. Covered in a blanket, a sign that it was already dead.
And the sick man said:
“Thank God I’m not like that poor dead man they carry there.”
And now the other one that they had wrapped in the stretcher could no longer give thanks for anything. He was already dead!
After many hard lessons that life gave me, I finally managed to get out of the difficult situation I was in. I managed to break the chains of addiction.
But, first I had to kiss the dust of misery. I saw my world in a thousand pieces, pick them up, and start again.
Over the years, I began to feel in my heart, the desire to leave the story of my life written somewhere. That may be of benefit to someone who is going through the same situation.
And, that’s what inspired my Blog.
I wish it to be a blessing to you. To enlighten your life and lead you away from bad ways, which only leads to destruction.
Share it with someone else so that God’s blessing continues to run through humanity.
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