Every Stumble and Fall in Life, has Prepared you For This Day
My gaze is lost when I start to see images take shape in my mind. Almost palpable visions of my past. Feeling again the emotion and the pain that I was going through in those moments. Emotional memories are the ones that most come alive in my thoughts.
How many times I would have liked to have the experience I have today so that I could have made better decisions in life. But it’s on the opposite side. I had to face the obstacles of life first to obtain wisdom from them. It almost feels like a lament, but today I realize that I was prepared by my past to face today’s problems in a wise way.
It’s up to me to have experienced every difficult situation and to have learned from them.
Learning from my failures
I remember one day when I woke up after a long night of drinking, tucked inside an abandoned drainpipe on the edge of the train tracks. Stretch my head out and immediately smelled an unpleasant odor of feces. Sneaking out Houdini-style, in order not to step on anything that would ruin my day, I realized that I was not alone. I had company.
Many homeless around me, some sitting, and others half asleep, I don’t know if they were still drunk. But each one in a deep silence, as if waiting for salvation. In the distance, I saw two people approaching, accelerated in their walk. They brought a couple of bags that sounded like Christmas bells. It was the noise of the glass bottles that sounded as if bringing happiness.
Immediately everyone looked up and with a smile, they received the expected return of their comrades telling them; “Caramba… why it took you so long.” “We did the run as fast as we could,” one of them replied. The time has come to continue the celebration.
I staggered closer and it seemed as if the joy had returned to my life again. Two half-gallons of liquor and several cold beers in the middle of the circle welcomed the guest of honor… alcohol.
Between meaningless chats and reasonless smiles, each one came back to life. But my thoughts were different. Deep. Meditating in the current situation. 2 years had passed since I first visited the shelter. It was the best alternative in the midst of my despair. I realized that the world that is lived as a homeless has no comparison.
Each with different anecdotes most seemed to be science fiction. I paid attention to them on purpose, so as not to remember the stories that only brought me longing and pain. With an alcoholic mind, I began to remember the past, which only brought me sadness and sorrow. Memories of a lost marriage, two abandoned children, and a whole life of failure and disappointment.
And all because of who… did not look at myself…stared at the bottle of alcohol.
If only I had been a man enough to accept my mistakes, discern, and correct what was going wrong in my life, I would not have reached the level where I was. Silently crying out for redemption.
How far can a human go in his insatiable hunger to satisfy the desire of the flesh? I myself had accustomed my body to alcohol dependency, gradually sliding down the stairs of destruction.
And even in the depressing situation, I was in, didn’t seem to accept that I had been the author of my own ruin. Tears rolled down my dirty cheeks as if wanting to give pity, or looking for comfort. This was what my lifestyle had become.
Wake up, get drunk, sleep and repeat. That became my life cycle.
Until the day came when I saw death head-on. Malnourished and weak, I felt dizzy. The sound of the ambulance brought me comfort. They took me to a better place, to heal and take care of myself… The hospital.
Nurses already knew me by name. “Jeronimo… Again!”
“You have to do something for your life, your heart can no longer resist, alcoholism will kill you.” Unable to answer, my head rested wanting to crash down. I lost myself in a deep sleep half-breathing.
The next day that I opened my eyes, wondering what day it was, or how I had got there. The nurse who was treating me shook her head saying…”I thought you were not going to wake up.” “Your heart was sounding the alarms on the computer that something was wrong.”
“How you feel” she asked.
“Ready for another round” I answered sarcastically, making myself funny to call the attention.
“Well” she said. “We hope not to see you back today.”
Reflexion…
The day came when my life changed, but for that, I had to stumble and fall many times. I was beaten and wounded from that depressing homeless life, but without not having received the greatest lesson of my life that has given me the wisdom with which I lived today.
Every day I live, I see it as a gift from God. Only He could have been able to awaken me from the nightmare that led me straight to a dead-end...Death
Remember that there is only one life, and it depends on you how you live it. For good or for waste. It is a pity to know that there are many who would like to have what we have… A treasure within us. And it is that of… Free will.
We have the gift of being able to choose what we want to be and do with our life. And yet, many of us decided to waste it on vanity and pleasure that ages or disappears with time.
Don’t waste much of your time or energy on the material or carnal satisfaction that life gives you, they are all temporary. Enjoy the good that life, your family, friends, and health give you on this day.
Build your life wisely from the roots, so that you bear good fruit (Your works) and beautiful flowers (your talents.)
Share them with those who need it, because, do you want to know something?… You are unique in this world, and you have something to offer that others don’t have…Your personality.
Share your blessings with others… The world will thank you with joy and freedom.
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